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You Told Me Nobody, Are You Sure?

Got my books today. Thankfully they're not huge butt books--I think I would be going to get back surgery at the end of the quarter otherwise. Linguistics sounds good. Hard, but interesting nonethess. And of course I'm excited for Mr. Jimmy's class. Hopefully I can talk to him about some things.

I'm mad at my mom. She told my aunt that I might change my major and go for my librarianship, or something. I don't appreciate people telling my business. If I want people to know my business, I'll tell them myself.

Went to B&N today and found some P&P spinnoffs. Started reading them and I really got into them. But unfortunately I didn't buy them. Le sigh. I do have over fifty bucks in gift cards. Unfortunately its near Christmas, so buying not an optional. Though I doubt I'll get them for Christmas.

All they get out of is all they get out of you.


So. I have found this book at the library last night called Blessed Beyond Measure by Gloria Copeland. The mini-title (I'm sorry, the proper name has failed me) is Experience the Extraordinary Goodness of God. So far I am enjoying it. The author talks about how God wants to bless us with so much good stuff that he doesn't know what to do with it. But we can't unless we acknowledge Him and trust Him and then we shall gain His blessings. The more we read the Bible, the more we realize how good He is and the more we trust Him. I probably just repeated myself, but...oh, well.

Onto other news...I have a dentist appointment at 1:30 today. I'm not looking foreword to it. At all. I hate going there because I don't like stuff in my mouth and I don't like how my mouth hurts afterwards.

My mom was supposed to schedule driving lessons for me this week to practice manueverability but she hasn't done it. I have to remind her. I would really like to practice that and then schedule my driving test so I can get to school and back and stay longer at stuff and go and meet my friends. It sucks to be so restrictive.

This Side

So...I redid my icons once again. Unfortunately I don't have a paid account so whenever I see a new icon I like, I have to redo them and thus uprooting my old icons that I like in order to accomodate them. But hopefully this time will be the last time for a while.

Nickel Creek has become center stage. As much as I tried to deny it, they equal love in my book of favorite musicians. And thus I have a bunch of new icons with them as the subject. Mostly Chris Thile because he is HOT. Sean is kind of hot too, but he's too chubby for my liking. Chris is love. And he has curly shaggy hair, which makes the love even more. At least Sean has a good voice to his credit.

The other day we got new shirts at the library. We don't have to wear them to work, but I'm wearing mine tonight just because. These ones are actually pretty nice. They're navy blue with G County Public Library and over top it says "Discover. Learn. Grow" or something. Cheesy, but cute.

I wrote a new note on f-book if anyone cares to notice. I don't know if everybody that I'm friends with on here's noticed or not so I shall make it a point here. Which reminds me...I update a lot on here but I notice that my friends don't as much. I'm sad. So...what's the point in updating? They probably don't read what I'm writing anyway. I don't know. Maybe because I can't help myself and I don't like everyone knowing my business on f-book. Things get around.

Work tonight. Joyfulness. Classes start up again in a couple of weeks. Real joy. At least I'll get to see Alyssa and Steph and Zak (different one, but this one's got a g/f as well, sigh), and Mr. Jimmy. That's all I'm looking foreword to. And also maybe changing concentrations. Future library work, here I come. Maybe.

We shall see.

Miss Me? Please?

So yes. I'm going to C-bus today. But we are not going until later today and it's only 11. Oh, well. That means I can stare at my books and decide what books I want to entertain myself with on the trip up and in the hotel room after I decide to relax in the jacuzzi. Or do a few laps in the pool if the little buggers called little kids don't steal it first. I hate swimming when there's little kids in the pool at the hotel because then you can't do laps or anything fun like that.

I was thinking of bringing my notebook and my book so I can write. But I end up never writing anyway when I bring them. All the fun ideas come when I don't have my stuff with me. Bugger on them.

Speaking of such fun stuff, my boss called me and asked if I wanted to work 12-3 today. I said with much glee that I was going to Columbus later in the day and I couldn't possibly go to work. Believe me, it was joyful to finally be able to have plans and not be able to work when she calls. Not that I don't like the library after four years, but...life calls.

I didn't sleep well yet again. I need to start talking to God again, I haven't been doing much of that recently. Nor have I read the Bible much. Eheh. I'm so horrible at keeping up with reading it. I must be some horrible person.

So apparently my aunt and uncle are going to meet us at the hotel tomorrow at 10:30 in the morning (10:30?! I'll barely be able to get up at 9:30! Have you ever tried sleeping in the same room with your parents?! It's not that fun, believe me). Apparently we're going to go to some German restaurant. That's new for me...a German restaurant? What? I didn't know they had their own specialties. But I guess we all do. How about Italian? Now there's something I like. A lot. Let's do that. What, no? Now, I really am sad. At least I'll get to eat some familiar food at Bob Evans later today. Hopefully. Love that kind of stuff.

Finished Angela's Ashes the other day. What a sad book. How could that guy survive all that stuff and still live to tell the tale? It just makes you realize that people are worse off than you are and that you should be thankful for what you've got.

There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.
Jawaharlal Nehru

Novel Challenges

Forgot to mention this in the post that I did an hour ago. I know I could edit it, but I have a disease called "I don't feel like it", so here we go:

If you love reading and need something to do and want a challenge, go to:


There's a million different kinds of challenges that you can do and don't be freaked out by the deadlines, create your own deadlines, and you don't have to post on the website. Thought some might be interested, since the only people who read this like reading, heh.

Also, I have an account at www.goodreads.com and it's kind of like shelfari I think. Look me up by my email because I don't have my last name up there. It's the same as my s/n with AOL at the end, if that makes sense. Haha.

Anyway, I'll shut up now.


Washed the dog today. It was kind of sad because my mom and I realized that Dominoe's losing weight even though she's been eating pretty regularly and everything. And when we were drying her she was shivering like crazy even though it was warm inside where we were cleaning her and she was half dry. I was holding her for my mom while she dried her and I was stroking her and could feel her bones through her skin, mostly her spine because I was stroking her on her back. Down near her rear you can feel the end of the bone and at first I thought that maybe she had cancer (you can usually feel the tumors in a dog), but it was just her bone. I wanted to cry the whole time. And of course I had to look at her severed tale and the end brushed against me once or twice. It felt icky...like slugs or something. My poor dog...I hate seeing her like this. I know she's getting old, but--it's still tough. I've had her since I was nine and she was a year old and I used to do everything with her. Even last year, she always came to snuggle with me whenever I was sitting outside as if to try and make me feel better. It always did no matter how horrible my day was going.

And on an off note--I hate how my dad just opens the door and doesn't knock. Doesn't he realize that closed doors equals privacy? Some days I wish I had my own place just so I could have privacy. But...I don't have the money. The misfortunes of being a college student.

I Could've Heard a Pin Drop

Slim Jim and the Seven Eleven Girl is an amazing song. It's a love song about how this guy falls in love with a girl working at the seven eleven and he buys slim jims and nachos just so he could see her and then he finally gets the nerve to ask her out and she says no but he hears differently and finally a couple days later he manages to gain her love. If you never heard it, you definately should. Gaelic Storm is amazing and I can't believe I've gone so long before this year without knowing who they are. They're newest CD's called What's the Rumpus? and you should definately listen to it. I command it of thee. Haha...wow, now I'm trying to play God. Le sigh. I can't play God, sorry to disappoint you guys. God is supreme and I could hardly play the role that He has. I would suck horribly.

Finished reading The Christmas Box trilogy a few days ago. I enjoyed it greatly. Definately a must read for the season. Now I'm reading Angela's Ashes. What a sad memoir thus far, but good nonetheless. It doesn't matter whether you're into the Irish culture/stories, it's a story witnessing human predicaments or...whatever. Another definate read. And it has two sequels to it, 'Tis and Teacherman. Unfortunately I don't have the latter, but I have 'Tis and hopefully I'll finish reading them during break.

Meghan will be spending the night in the near future. I can't wait. She is a sweet girl and want to hang out with her more often. Unfortunately she'll be going to NYU for a semester, so I won't see her winter or spring quarter on campus. Meep.

Been having sleeping problems, but I managed to get to sleep at an earlier hour than I have been. Go me. Listened to You Are Loved (Don't Give Up) several times today. I seriously listen to that song every day and I never get tired of listening to it. It reminds me that somewhere out there someone still loves me as a friend/lover (whatever) and not to give up. I think I've listened to it every day since 2007. Crazy, but true.

I still miss Zach. And Adam. I hope they forgive me for being so bitter. All I want now is to just talk and hang out. Is there someone out there who loves me so much that they want to marry me? I want to meet them and memorize their face as if it'll be the last time.

I hate not knowing.

I Could Laugh Out Loud

I have decided that I work with crazy shelvers at the library. They are amazing and I love them all. They made this year's Christmas memorable. If you haven't seen the pics that I've been tagged on f-book, then you're missing out hugely. They're quite amusing.

Ahhh.....I could laugh out loud with happiness and joyful awesomeness :-D.

That's all.

Thought I Knew What It Was About

Alright...so I've lied. I really do want to be in love. I want to be in a relationship. I want to get married and have kids. I want it so bad that it hurts. And yet...I have no prospects. And yet...I still like being single. The past few days have been a torment as my two sides battle it out. One side wants to remain single, other side wants to look again. And then I guess there's another side that wants to compromise and say...be single and just wait until the opportune moment arrives.

Gah...I don't know what to do, don't know what to do...I wish this grip would let go. Love is such a fickle thing and yet I want to feel it. Again. *bangs head against the table*

It's a Bit Hard Letting Them In

I often wonder about the way my life has turned out. Why have I met the people that I've met, why have I experienced the things that I have experienced? I am happy yet sad about the things that have happened to me in my life. Happy...yet sad that I've met the people that I have met. I don't like meeting new people...actually, scratch that. I don't like making new friends because they always end up hurting me in the end. I guess that's why I became anti-social fall quarter, I didn't want to hope that this time it'd be different, only be hurt. Stephani has been a good friend, we've been in at least one class together since fall quarter '07, so there's something going on there, friendship-wise. But loathe that I admit it, sometimes I wonder if she considers me to be a good friend. I hate doing that, but with the few good friends that I have, I still wonder.

The only good friend(s) I have is one that I've never seen with my own two eyes. It's kind of sad when you have to go long distance for friends. Not that I'm complaining, I love my long distance friends. But I wish I had a friend that lived closer so I could run to them whenever I needed it. Trust is a big issue, if you haven't noticed.

I've been thinking about Zach and Adam a lot lately, particularly at night (the place where I usually do my thinking, thus causing sleep issues) and then it leads to thoughts of Jon, which hasn't really occurred with as much force until now. And then the tears start flowing. I have never cried for Jon, really, which would probably come as a surprise. But I have been doing so as well as for Zach and Adam. For my own naivete that I could ever be with them, friendship or otherwise.

I want to be in love. I can no longer deny it as I've been doing since August. I want to be in love. But that still doesn't stop me from doubting that I will ever do so.

But I just wish I had one good friend that lived near me. That will probably never happen, though. We shall see.

Ali will be in my linguistics class. Whoop-de-doo. I haven't seen her in over a year. Haven't been in a class with her for two years. I don't know if this will be a good thing. God help me through it. And let things stay in the past.

I just don't like being this low.

Beauty and the Mess

blue waters blue eyes color me
if any could come this close I'd let them see
get it out again and play 'em one more song
it's all they really want and who's to say that's wrong

ain't that what you want them to know?
all they get of you is what they get out of the show
the rest is mine, I guess, the beauty and the mess
to hide

I pull myself under and down I go again
it's just a little bit hard letting them in
looking at the world through elusive eyes
I hide in the spotlight it's a great disguise

ain't that what you want them to know?
all they all they get of you is what they get out of the show
the rest is mine, I guess, the beauty and the mess
to hide

behind the melody the words don't mean a thing
but every tone I play would give whatever I've not said away
behind the melody the words don't mean a thing
but every tone I play would give whatever I've not said away
behind the melody the words don't mean a thing
but every tone I play would give whatever I've not said away

ain't that what you want them to know?
all they all they get of you is all they get of you is what they get out of the
the rest is mine I guess the beauty and the mess...
ain't that what you want them to know?
all they get of you is what they get out of the show
the rest is mine I guess the beauty and the mess
the rest the rest is mine I guess the beauty and the mess the rest the rest is
mine I guess I guess the beauty and the mess: to hide